There was a little boy, sitting by himself on the side of a hill on a beautiful autumn day. His name was Shaun, and he had an obsession with the word Midday. He was a bright, nice, and curious boy. He had sea-green eyes, a deep and thoughtful expression, and a pair of glasses. He liked fantasy and humor books. A strange little boy was this Shaun.
He thought of how the flight attendant said ‘Get on the plane’, and how that would not be agreeable. The wind would most likely push you off. “You should probably get inside of the plane, and not on it” the little boy mused. He began to think of the fact that he was only a little boy, and he didn’t appear to have a home or a family. Shaun decided that he must get some of these things, because other people said that a family and a home are good things to have.
So he ventured out into the big wide world to see if he could find any of these things. He first happened upon a lonely straw house, sitting all by itself. He decided that this might be a nice home to live in. So he very gently, gently rapped on the chamber door.
Immediately a disgusting, fat, short pig in a bath-robe responded to the door, murmuring something about his lost lemon store or something. The pig looked at Shaun and grunted in a piggish way “Yeah, what do you want? You interrupted my pondering.”
Shaun said “Sir, I was just looking for a family or a home, do you happen to have either of these?”
The pig responded “No, you miserable little orphan, now go away so I can resume my wondering, or blundering, or whatever I was doing before you interrupted me!”
So Shaun began to cry about his mistreatment at the hands of the mean pig, when a big nice wolf came across Shaun. The wolf asked Shaun why he was crying “Why are you crying, little boy?” and the little boy responded “Why, Mister Wolf, the short, mean pig that lives in the straw house over yonder made me cry because he slammed the door on my face.”
Mister Wolf was enraged by the piggish behavior of the pig in a straw house. So he said to Shaun, “You wait here and I’ll, I’ll huff, and I’ll puff, and I’ll blow that pig’s house down for what he did.” And true to his word, Mister Wolf did.
So Shaun began his search anew, with a bright and happy outlook to the future. Maybe more people would be like Mister Wolf, he thought, and might be able to give him a family and a home. He set out towards the west. Soon he came to a small town, with a nice inviting wooden house, and he thought he’d try his luck again. So this time he firmly tapped upon the front door.
Again, Shaun was greeted by a pig, but this one seemed more respectable than the first. He was wearing a t-shirt, jeans, and a pigskin jacket. He asked “Yes, little boy, what do you want?”
And Shaun replied “Hello Mister Pig, I was wondering if you had a family or a home that I could have?”
Mister Pig responded “Yes, I gave one of those to King Nestor, but it seems that he has forgotten where he placed them.”
“Yes, but do you have a family or a house for me?”
“No, I don’t, and it’s rude to beg. You can go play with Irus, you miserable beggar.” And Mister Pig slammed the door on Shaun.
Repeating the process, Shaun sat down and cried, Mister Wolf came and asked what’s wrong, Shaun related everything to him, Mister Wolf got mad. Then Mister Wolf goes and blows the house down.
So Shaun resumed his journey to find a place where he belonged, and the people he belonged with. Suddenly he came onto a large city, with a particularly large mansion. The Mansion happened to be made of brick. Shaun was more curious than hopeful when he used the knocker on the door, which had a face on it. He saw a boy doing the twist off in an alley way.
The door opened and Sir Pigenezer Scrooge answered it “Yes, what is it you want you beggar boy? if it’s money, you won’t get any out of me.”
“No, I was just wondering if you had a home or a family to spare.”
Sir replied, “What, are there no prisons? and the union workhouses, are they still operational? You will find plenty of miserable wretches like you in the establishments I have named, and there is plenty enough home there for you.”
So Shaun began to wail louder than he had before, and Mister Wolf came running to the rescue “What happened this time, little boy? Haven’t you found a home yet?” Shaun wailed “Oh, Mister Wolf, the pig in the brick mansion is the worst yet! He’s a regular old Scrooge of a man. Would you please be kind enough to blow the house down for me?”
Mister Wolf replied “Well, you’ve made me blow down two houses so far, and I’m almost tempted to leave you here crying, but I won’t. I’ll blow this one down, and that’s it for today.”
Then Mister Wolf walked up to the house, and he began to huff, and puff, and blow, but the mansion wouldn’t fall down. Then, in his exasperation on his second try, he forgot to puff, and the third he forgot to huff, and on the fourth he forgot to blow, and he gave up.
He went back, and found Shaun still crying. He said “Okay, you, I’ll take you back to my house for a while. That can be your home for the length of approximately three months, and I’ll be your family. How does that sound to you?” And Shaun’s face began to dry and light up like a lightbulb. “Thank you Mister Wolf, oh, thank you thank you thank you thank you! This will be such fun, Mister Wolf!”
So Mister Wolf and Shaun went off into the horizon, following a yellow brick road.
The End.
By T.H. Wam!
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